Nyahaha~ I’m glad to see that everyone enjoyed Ep 1, so here’s Ep 2! Working on making this a weekly release, but we shall see what ends up happening~
Kiriko Epawsode 2: A Deceptive Demeanor
I’ve….never been able to do that before.
I blinked in a stunned daze as I thought that to myself. While I had, indeed, kicked people before, I had never been nearly flexible enough to deliver a proper roundhouse kick to someone’s head. That being said, as an adult, I normally was mature enough to withhold my desires to physically injure someone due to their….less than desirable comments. However, at the moment I had felt the strong desire to tsukkomi the man’s comment, my body had moved automatically according to my faint mental image, smashing the man beautifully on the chin.
Ah! This isn’t the time to be thinking about that!
Realizing that I had just randomly kicked a man in the face for no apparent reason, I rushed over worriedly to him while exclaiming,
“Are you okay?!”
The blond-haired man lay motionless on the ground. The whites of his eyes glimmered in the sunlight as his mouth lolled open and a harsh, red mark began to form on his chin. Having received no response to my cry, I decided that I had, most likely, knocked him unconscious with my well-placed kick.
Hmm….what should I do now…
I pondered my choices as I squatted next to the unconscious man, poking his cheek absentmindedly.
Choice #1: Give the blonde-haired man a lap pillow as an apology for suddenly kicking him in the face.
Choice #2: Leave the man on the grass and wait for him to wake up, then apologize.
Choice #3: Leave the man where he is and walk away while deleting this incident from my mind.
Choice #4: Do nothing and just stare into space.
Choice #5: Hit him again to erase all memory of me from his mind.
Iya iya iya, there is clearly something wrong with 4 of those choices! Rather, wouldn’t that last one just make the situation even worse?!
I buried my face in my hands as I turned away from him, wondering how I could have possibly even thought up of such idiotic choices.
“Gaaahh!! I’m such an idiot sometimes….it’s gotta be all that weird as hell ‘roleplaying’ I’ve been doing online lately….”
A small smile surfaced on my face as I recalled the recent memories of the strange things I had ‘chatted’ about with the other members of the group online. Thinking back on it, all I had done was cause trouble for everyone and raise hell. Naturally, it was all in good fun, though I was often more than surprised at how they had simply gone along with my stupid antics….
“Ahh~ I wonder where everyone else is right now….”
Murmuring that to myself, I began to stare off into the distance while thinking about all the members of the Chaos I had suddenly met with in person thanks to a certain silver-haired girl.
Hearing a small groan come from behind me, I looked back, remembering that the unconscious man had still been lying there on the hard, dirt-covered ground.
The young man muttered to himself as he rubbed his chin. After examining him a little, I noticed his long, golden eyelashes, followed by his rather well-shaped facial structure. His eyes were a pure gold, as if someone had taken liquid gold and used it to create his irises.
Hmm~ he’s actually pretty decent-looking.
Indeed. The blonde man could, simply speaking, be described as a “bishounen”. His lean frame, fair face, and, from what I had seen, apparently gentle temperament, likely attracted many girls. The rapidly growing welt on his chin, however, disrupted the balance of his face, making it nearly comical in appearance. Thinking this rather rude thought, I gave a wry grin as I spoke.
“Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to kick you so randomly. I am mentally stable though – but, I guess my actions seems to suggest otherwise…..”
My words trailed off as I recalled how I had simply kicked the man after being reassured that he wouldn’t tell anyone about my ‘mental instability’. It was clearly the shining example of someone who wasn’t at all “mentally stable”. In fact, such an action was only usually done by a certain kind of character within animes, mangas, and other forms of Japanese media.
“No, no, it was my fault…I shouldn’t have said something as direct as ‘mental instability’ to someone who is mentally unst–guah!”
Suddenly, the man fell back to the ground, unconscious once more. A strange, fist-shaped imprint had appeared on his face, fixed directly in between his eyes. From his nose, a small trickle of blood began to flow out. With all of this mixed together, the young, blonde-haired man truly gave off the appearance of some poor, abused romcom protagonist.
Well, not that I care.
I stood up as I shook my right hand about in order to help lessen the slight pain that emerged after it suddenly came into contact with a certain, hard object. After glancing at the young man, I sighed as I dragged him off the hard, dirt ground onto the slightly comfier, cushioned grassy ground.
This should be good. I should leave before he gains any more ‘mysterious injuries’.
Nodding to myself, I turned to leave before the young man woke up and said any more stupid comments which would lead to m—–excuse me, some mysterious force hurting him in retaliation to said comments. As I walked away, my currently long, flaming red hair swung back and forth in a ponytail, as though waving good-bye to the unknowing, young blond-haired man.
My face cramped as I read the newest notification on my phone’s newest application. Though I had conveniently forced myself to not acknowledge the fact that I had hit the same man, two times in a row, knocking him out both times, it seemed that my new application wouldn’t let me forget about it so easily. I raised my phone up, preparing to smash it into the ground while screaming.
Wait….but if I do that….wouldn’t I be proving it right? Just stay calm, and forget about it….yeah. That’s what I should do….
“ARE YOU PICKING A FREAKING FIGHT WITH ME, YOU GODDAMN PHONE?!?!!!!”
I yelled at my phone as I spun around and threw it on the ground….or so I thought. My phone, which had been hurtling towards what I had thought was the ground, turned out to be headed towards a certain, unconscious young man. A loud ‘clunk’ sounded out as it smashed into the unconscious man’s head, with a force that seemed like it could render him permanently unconscious. Interestingly enough, it instead seemed to act like an alarm, as the man began to roll around while hollering and holding his forehead.
Watching the man, I couldn’t help but feel an immense amount of pity for his misfortune. Whether I thought that misfortune had been the very fact that he had met me, or simply due to the fact that he happened to be in the path of my phone as I threw it, was a secret. Feeling that I should properly apologize this time around, I sat down on the grass, picking up my phone in the process as I waited for the young man to stop rolling around.
While I waited, I examined my phone. Oddly enough, it seemed to be completely undamaged. To make sure it was fully functional, I opened my 《Nyanko Guide》 application and began to fiddle around with the settings. Discovering a switch for “Audio Notifications”, I flipped it to “On”, setting it so that notifications would now be transmitted directly into my head as a voice.
A few minutes later, the hollers finally died down as the young man came to a stop. Hearing that, I looked up from my phone as I asked,
“Are you done yet?”
The young man looked back at me with a slightly sullen expression. It seemed that he had realized that the culprit who had woken him up so viciously was me. I gave a slightly awkward look as I played around with my hair. Then, I opened my mouth and muttered,
The man gave a stunned expression, as though he hadn’t expected me to apologize so easily. Somehow, seeing that made a feeling of irritation grow in my chest as I spoke again in a louder voice.
“I said, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have hit you, and I should’ve been more careful when throwing my phone around.”
I felt my face heat up slightly as I turned my head away from the young man.
Just what in the world is wrong with me?
I wondered to myself. While I could be considered a little brash normally, I have never had such difficulty controlling myself. Though being called “mentally unstable” certainly was unpleasant, it hardly warranted hitting the young man twice in the face. And while the titles I had been granted as a result of my actions were odd, I normally would never throw my phone – which was a very important ‘Guide’ for me in this world – in such a reckless manner. Not only that, but even now, I was having difficulty in apologizing honestly to this young man for transgressions that I had, undoubtedly, perpetuated.
“No, it’s okay. I went a little far with my joke…”
The young man rubbed the back of his head as he replied in a similarly awkward manner. The two of us remained silent for several minutes before I finally stood up, unable to bear the silence for any longer.
“Anyhow….I should get going now. Bye.”
I turned and began to walk away from the grassy pasture, towards a somewhat distant group of buildings. As I could hear a faint murmur of people, in addition to various other sounds reminiscent of the hustle and bustle of daily life, I had concluded that the buildings were the entrance to a town. While I could have tried asking the young, blond-haired man about the town, I felt uncomfortable trying to ask more of someone that I had only just met and personally injured several times. Then, remembering something, I turned my head back as I added one last line.
“By the way, your nose is bleeding.”
The young man’s hands jumped to his face as he began to wipe the now bloodied area underneath his nostrils. Seeing his rather comical appearance, I couldn’t help but let out an impish grin as I said-
-and walked off.
As I neared the town, I walked underneath a cluster of trees and enjoyed their sweet, shaded relief from the unrelenting sunshine. Just as I was about to leave my leafy haven, however, a familiar jazzy ringtone rang out from my phone. Glancing at the screen, I was greeted with the following notice.
I paused, slightly surprised at the sudden contact from the would-be god. When I had recovered and was about to hang up, however, my phone began to one-sidedly answer the call on its own.
Upon seeing the familiar face of my abductor, I sighed as I moved back under the shade. Leaning lazily against a tree, I gazed at the screen, waiting for the silver-haired girl to speak.
“Hii~ are you still alive? That’s good, ohohoho~”
“…..tch. What do you want?”
I clicked my tongue at the girl’s condescending tone as she talked. My face scrunched with displeasure as I recalled the various titles that I had received from the application that she had installed onto my phone without permission. Seeing my curt manner, the silver-haired girl’s face also gave an irritated look.
“H-How dare you speak to me that way! Honestly, what’s with all of you?! Y-You should be worshipping me, kissing my feet and–”
“If you don’t have any business with me, I’m gonna hang up.”
My thumb hovered over the [X] button in the corner of the screen, ready to close the video call. Realizing my intentions, the silver-haired girl opened her mouth again, and appeared as though she were about to say something unimportant. Suddenly, however, her mouth broke into a cunning sneer as she began to speak the following line.
“Oh? Don’t you want to know how all your friends are?”
I froze suddenly, unable to move as my eyes widened at her words. Since arriving in this world, I had not seen a single trace of any of the other members of Realm of Chaos who had been summoned together with me. Naturally, I was both curious and worried about their locations and current states. Observing my reaction, the girl gave a satisfied smirk as she continued.
“Good girl. Now listen carefully to what I have to say.”
I nodded quietly. While her attitude naturally infuriated me, rather than rampaging wantonly, it was much more important to find out the current situations of the other members. Harassing the silver-haired girl could wait.
“First of all, welcome to 【Paletia】!”
Hearing this unfamiliar name, I tilted my head as I gave an inquisitive look towards the silver-haired girl.
“That’s the name of this world you’ve been brought to, and is also the name of the world I want all of you to conquer for me.”
“Next, your first goal in this world is to meet up with the others.”
I looked at the girl with a hopeful expression. After all, if she wanted us to find each other, she would, at the very least, give us a hint as to where the others were….right?
“I’m not telling you where they are.”
Seeing my dumbfounded expression, the silver-haired girl gave another gleeful smile.
“This is a test! A test of caliber, to see just how capable each of you are!”
My face spasmed as I resisted the desire to throw my phone to the ground once more.
A test of caliber?! Don’t screw with me! How’re we supposed to find each other without even knowing each others’ rough location?!
Taking a deep breath, I swallowed my tsukkomi before I could shout it at the silver-haired girl. The effort alone made me slightly dizzy as I forcefully calmed myself. While it would take a long period of time, it wasn’t impossible to find each other….maybe.
“I….I see. Is that everything?”
“Not quite. About the ‘battery’ for your guide. I’ve blessed it so it won’t run out.”
Upon saying the word ‘battery’, the silver-haired girl seemed to puff up with pride, as though I should be impressed by her use of such a word. Ignoring that, I glanced at the corner of my screen, seeing that the small battery-shaped icon there had a ‘∞’ symbol on it.
So I won’t have to charge it, huh….how convenient.
As I stared at my phone, a thought suddenly struck me.
“Say, what happens if my guide is lost or destroyed?”
My face went blank with shock as my mouth hung open in horror. I thought back to how I had, just earlier, thrown my phone in the blond-haired man’s face in anger. If instead of his face, my phone had hit a rock on the ground, it might have been possible that my life would have simply ended right then and there. As I pondered this further, however, a faint giggle began to sound out from my phone’s speakers.
“Fufufufu~ you actually believed me~? How naive. Do you really think that a ‘Guide’ that has been blessed by me would break so easily?”
My face spasmed at the silver-haired girl’s words. An intense desire to hang up on the annoying little girl assaulted me, but I resisted it, instead choosing to ask my next question.
“So, my phone is currently indestructible?”
“Of course! Not only that, but it’s tied to you by fate, so even if you lose it, it’ll mysteriously make its way back to you somehow within 24 hours!”
The silver-haired girl gave a wide grin as she proudly spoke about her ‘blessing’ on the phone. To me, however, her so-called ‘blessing’ made my phone sound like some kind of ‘cursed’ object….
“Ah, also, your guide has been blessed so that it is best understood by its user! Even if someone from 【Paletia】tries to read it, it’ll just look like gibberish to them!”
The girl’s chest seemed to swell even further with pride as she continued to speak.
If her nose grows any longer with pride, she’ll turn into Pinocchio…..
I thought to myself wryly.
“Anyhow, that’s all I have to tell you! You’re already the last one to arrive in 【Paletia】, so you should get moving before you fall behind everyone else!”
“Wait, ‘last one’? Just when did everyone else arrive?!”
Hearing the silver-haired girl’s words, I stopped her before she could hang up on me. At my question, however, she simply shrugged nonchalantly as she responded.
“It’s only been a few months since the first one arrived, and they’ve all been quite….busy.”
I paused as I wondered about what kind of havoc the other members of the Chaos could have wreaked on the world during the “few months” that they were here. While I was still worried about them, I knew that each and every single one of them was likely capable of taking care of themselves….probably.
“Well, that’s everything! Don’t die~♥”
Having been hung up on by the silver-haired girl, my shoulders trembled slightly with anger as I stared at the blank screen of my phone. My confusion, worries, and various other feelings swirled madly within my body, bubbling up as I opened my mouth.
As I shouted to the heavens, I tightly gripped my phone. Despite my holler, I was unable to release the full extent of my frustration. I punched a nearby tree with my free hand, leaving a clear, fist-shaped imprint on the bark as the tree shook with indignation. Panting lightly, I shook my head to clear my thoughts as I looked up once more, determination glowing within my eyes.
I’ll find every single one of them! And then….I’m gonna beat the living daylights out of that damn silver!
Nodding to myself, I walked forwards, heading towards the town when I realized that my shout had not gone entirely unnoticed. In front of the town’s gates stood a pair of guards, both of whom were currently staring, shocked, in my direction. I stood motionless for a few moments before gracefully approaching the two guards with a friendly smile.
“Good afternoon! Lovely weather we’re having today, huh?”
Upon seeing my graceful demeanor, the guards gave faces of disbelief, as if they couldn’t believe that I had been the one shouting earlier. They looked around me, searching for another person who might have been the source of the yell, but found nothing. As I had been hidden by the shadow of the trees earlier during my video call, the true identity of the source of the scream remained unknown to them.
I giggled lightly as I asked them while tilting my head slightly.
“What seems to be the matter?”
“N-Nothing….was there someone else over there by the trees?”
The guard on the right, an older man with dirty blond hair that bordered on being brown, spoke first. In response I shook my head while saying,
“Nope. I was the only one there, it’s just….”
As my sentence trailed off, I placed one of my curled up hands upon my lower lip, displaying a troubled face. Seeing this, the younger guard on the left, with canary yellow hair asked gently,
“Th-There was a really big bug that startled me while I was resting under the shade. I screamed in a unlady-like manner….”
I turned my slightly moist eyes up at the two guards, blushing embarrassedly as I continued on.
“P-Please don’t tell anyone about it….it’s very embarrassing…sorry for startling you two though.”
As I bowed gracefully in apology, the younger guard waved his hands about, saying,
“N-No! It’s okay, really! You don’t need to apologize for it!”
The older guard, on the other hand, gave a soft grunt as he smiled in an almost-fatherly way. His hand seemed to reflexively rise up and pat my head as he spoke.
“It’s alright, don’t mind it too much. Did you want to head into town?”
I nodded timidly as I glanced at him with upturned eyes. Seeing that, the older guard nodded as he motioned for me to enter the town. The younger guard also smiled and waved me in, adding in,
“Welcome to the Town of Au! If you’re looking for the Adventurer’s Guild, it’s the big building just down the street on your right!”
Nodding appreciatively, I walked past the two guards into the town.
Looks like it went well……
I smiled triumphantly at my success at having drawn the guards’ attention away from my crazed screaming, making it so that they allowed me into the town without question.
My eyebrow twitched as I heard the new series of notifications informing me of my newly levelled up skills. Rubbing the back of my head in an exasperated manner, I continued on, walking towards the Adventurer’s Guild that the young guard had told me about.
Still….how’d he know I needed to go to the Adventurer’s Guild?