Nyahahaha! I’m keeping it up somehow, yay~! Enjoy~
Kiriko Epawsode 4: A Slimy Situation
Yelling out my battle-nya, I jumped back, avoiding the explosion of goo that signaled the death of yet another slime.
Why the hell do slimes explode when they die?!
I tsukkomied internally as I jumped to the side, dodging the the attack of another slime that was behind me. After leaving the Town of Au on my quest to kill slimes, it hadn’t taken long before I had managed to find the target of my quest. In fact, it had only taken a mere 10 minutes of walking before I had been surrounded by 5 slimes, all at once. Though I had been a little worried about my ability to fight, having completely lacked any previous combat experience, my worries soon flew away with the lightness of my body and the ease with which I was able to control it as I wished. However, my joy soon turned to disgust as I killed my first slime.
Overjoyed with my newfound athletic ability, I had jumped around, dodging the attacks of the many slimes. Then, deciding that I needed to attack them back, I had kicked one of the nearby slimes numerous times, ending it’s life with a quick stab of my knife. However, at the moment I had stabbed into the monster’s gelatinous body, it had exploded like a punctured water balloon, sending it’s gooey insides flying everywhere. Surprised, I had given a small “nya!”, leading to my transformation into my catgirl form. At the same time, the slime’s insides covered my body, blinding my eyes and, to my pure disgust, entering my slightly opened mouth. Having become preoccupied with trying to spit out the jelly-like substance, I had failed to notice the approach of the remaining 4 slimes. As such, I had received several hard tackles from the aggravated monsters before I finally managed to retaliate by kicking out, using my slightly heightened senses from my new form to deduce where they were.
After angrily kicking the last 4 slimes to death, I wiped my eyes clear of the goo, picked up the 5 Slime’s Essences and quickly found a small stream to wash off the remains of the slimes. Having finished with that, I came back with an angry vigor, determined to destroy more of the exploding gooey nuisances as revenge. And so, I had found myself here.
My tail twitched in an agitated manner as I gazed around me. Before my eyes lay tens of slimes, all bobbing ominously at me. Simply put, I had been surrounded by the many slimes soon after washing off the remains of my previous victims. Though each slime was only about the size of a soccer ball, being surrounded by such numbers was, as one might expect, quite intimidating. That said, it didn’t take that many blows to kill a slime. Similar to many RPGs I had played in the past, it seemed that the slime was likely one of the weakest possible enemies an adventurer could fight. After all, it was only a Rank 1 Quest, so how bad could it be?
Nodding to myself, I jumped at the nearest slime, drawing my leg back to kick it, like I had so many others. Just before my foot came into contact with it, however, the slime spontaneously exploded on its own, causing me to lose my balance, due to the sudden loss of my target. As if the slime’s sacrifice were a signal, the remaining slimes jumped at me. I closed my eyes and braced myself, expecting heavy blows from each slime. Contrary to my expectations, however, no blows came raining down. Instead, a strangely heavy feeling began to drag down my body, as though I had suddenly been burdened by several weights. Upon opening my eyes, I found multiple slimes clinging to my body. Starting from my legs, they clung like giant, gelatin burrs, fusing together as more and more slimes piled on top of them, covering my body.
I involuntarily spoke, shocked at the slimes’ sudden change in attack pattern. As I attempted to fling off the slimes, I began to feel a strange sensation at my ankles. Upon looking downwards, I found that the part of my shoes covered by the slimes were slowly, but surely, beginning to erode. Strangely enough, though the other slimes were clinging to my bare legs, I felt no burning sensation which would indicate that they were digesting me as well.
Wait wait wait….don’t tell me this is….
A cold chill ran down my spine at the thought that had begun to form in my head. Another slime jumped towards me as I struggled, clinging to the sleeve of my cardigan. As I watched, the slime began to secrete a corrosive substance which slowly began to eat away at the thick material. My eyes widened as a small hole appeared in the green sleeve, exposing my bare, untouched skin underneath. After reaching my skin, the corrosive substance stopped, as though its previous acidity had been but a dream.
Having confirmed my fears, I watched on in horror as more and more slimes began to cling to my body. At the same time, the same, boiling feeling from before, when I had been faced with the obnoxious noble, began to rise up from within me. It was now that I fully recognized it for what it was. That is…..it was the enormous desire to tsukkomi something….my whole situation, and its encompassing unreasonableness. Closing my eyes, I concentrated on that boiling – no, that burning sensation as I took a deep breath and–
“JUST WHAT KIND OF GODDAMN PERVERT MADE THESE GODDAMN SLIMES!!!!!!!!!!!????”
–yelled my tsukkomi at the top of my lungs. As I did so, I released the exploding power that had seemingly built up within my body while swinging my dagger downwards.
To my surprise, the dagger burst into flames as I did so. Rather….my entire body was on fire. Flames burst out from my body, rapidly burning away all the slimes that clung to it. All of the liquid within the slimes seemed to evaporate as they disappeared, leaving behind the small, pebble-sized Slime Essences which served as proof of their existences. The slimes in the close vicinity also evaporated from the heat radiating from my body, and my surroundings were soon cleared of the jelly-like annoyances. As I examined the flames emerging from my body, as I had expected, a notification soon rang out clearly within my mind.
My eyebrows furrowed as my mind went blank at the last notification I received. Though I was able to discern that the [Scorching Retaliation] skill was likely the cause of my newfound fiery appearance, the last title was simply……beyond me. Hoping that curiosity wouldn’t kill the ‘cat’ this time, I took my phone out of my, thankfully, still intact pocket, and opened my Nyanko Guide application.
Having finished reading the utterly baffling explanation of the equally baffling title, my mouth gaped as I stared incomprehensibly at my phone. While the effects of the title did, indeed, appear to be quite useful, as it would help me avoid the destruction of my equipment – or more specifically, my clothes, the title itself seemed to suggest that I would be put in “compromising situations” often.
W-well…I guess it’ll help me if that happens? Un. Let’s think of it like that.
I nodded to myself, refusing to think any more about how incredibly ‘odd’ the title was. Then, bracing myself mentally, I began to look through the descriptions for my many new titles and skills that I had yet to check.
“What the…WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?!!!”
I yelled as I threw my phone onto the Slime Essence-covered ground. The sheer number of nonsensical skills and titles that I had obtained since coming here simply astounded me.
It’s only my first day!! Rather, it’s only been a few hours since I got here!!!! JUST HOW MANY OF THESE THINGS AM I GONNA GET BY THE END OF ALL THIS!!!!!
Screaming my tsukkomi internally, I lamented at the thought of all the other potential “skills” and “titles” that I was more than likely to obtain over the course of my “stay” here in 【Paletia】. As I did so, however, yet another ominous noise rang out within my mind.
Something within me seemed to break as I heard my newest notification. Raising my foot, I prepared to stomp down upon my fallen phone, determined to destroy it like a bug.
A dark aura surrounded me as I brought my foot of judgement down upon the incessant device. As I did so, I uttered words completely unfit for one with such a cute and innocent class as “Neko-Imouto”. Just as my foot landed upon the innocent device, however, it slid, causing me to lose my balance.
As I looked up at the great blue sky expanding above me, I thought to myself-
Ah, the phone was still on top of all those round Slime Essences…
Then, I crashed backwards towards the ground. Expecting a hard collision against the marble-covered ground, I tensed my body. However, the expected collision never came. Instead, an oddly warm and rather firm feeling could be felt on my back, like a heated chair that fit one’s body in a perfectly comfortable manner. Unconsciously, I relaxed. That is, until my newfound “chair” spoke.
“Are you alright?”
From behind, or rather, underneath me, a familiar voice sounded out.